As most of you would've worked out already, I'm Asian which means I'm pretty hairless. I shave about once every 2 weeks and the phrase "five 'o clock shadow" has never applied to me. I also don't sweat under my armpits - something I'll elaborate on in a later post. But despite being mostly hairless, there is one place on my body where hair grows like a weed and that's the top of my head.
Now, I'm an Asian man with long hair (original, I know) and the problem with long hair and having it grow so quickly is that I moult like crazy. I moult so much I was Moses's back-up plague in case the first 10 didn't work. On a good day I moult more than a dog that's just discovered it's wandered into the kitchen of a Korean restaurant.
What this means is that when I squeeze all the water out of my ponytail after taking a shower, I'm left with long stringy handfuls of wet clingy hair.
I'm sure all you long-haired freaks out there can relate and to you people I now pose this question: What the hell do you do with all that hair? I mean, presumably you've already turned the water off, and turning it back on just to wash crap off your hands would be a waste. You definitely can't just fling the stuff off your hands, so what do you do?
Here's what I do - I stick it onto the shower walls, and it ends up looking a little something like this:
Before you think, "Oh, you're feral!" realise that I do usually wipe it off after stepping out of the shower and into my undies. I say 'usually' because sometimes they end up looking rather artistic. Take the picture above for example. When I look at it, I see an old man crying because he's made out of hair. What do you see?
I write this post for I am determined not to be the only freak in the world who engages in such questionable activities. Join me, my long-haired brothers and sisters, as we seek to subvert the dominant paradigm of... not doing this sort of stuff.
Seriously, send me photos of your own hair murals to:
tomurai2776@gmail.com, and I will start posting them up here.
Together, we can make this world a hairier place.
2 comments:
Nice. I used to make use of the renegade hair tendrils left in the shower after my sisters, by drawing shapes on the wall. Wet hair sticks so nicely to tiles.
I used to write messages too, though it was a challenge to achieve the small radii curves for each character. I think it would be more difficult with Asian hair, though.
I've played with the hair that mysteriously attach to my shower walls too, but I usually just swirl them around for a bit then wash them down the drain. I never thought of making art out of the tendrils--brilliant! :-)
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