Saturday, October 31, 2009

Trivial poetry

I attended a trivia night tonight. The night started off well with our team selecting what we thought was a suitably amusing team name.

In the early rounds we were doing well, hovering between 1st and 3rd. Then came a bonus round in which teams had to write and perform a warcry.
There were only 2 rules: the warcry had to rhyme, and it had to revolve around your team name.

As I heard this my eyes widened in horror. Guess what we'd chosen to call our team? "Green Ecology Limitless Magnificence."

What made the situation worse was that everyone at the table (computer engineers and scientists) turned to me - the Arts Student. Apparently this was my time to shine. Unfortunately I hate poetry. I suck at it, always have and avoid it like the plague. My two favourite poems of all time include:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme,
but this one doesn't.


There once was a boy named Mel,
who used to write poems quite well.
The beginnings were nice,
the middles sufficed,
but somehow when he got to the end he could never quite get them to finish the way he wanted them to.

The devil talks in rhymes, I'm sure of it. But anyway, to cut a long story short, we ended up yelling this out a few times:

Green, ecology, limitless magnificence.
Come, bask in our Batman-like omniscience.

Yeah, it sucks - I know. I feel ashamed to have tainted Batman's good name by associating it with such trite. Batman, if you're out there, I'm sorry. If you'd been on my team I'm sure you would've had some sort of warcry generating gadget on your belt of limitless magnificence.

So in conclusion, pick simple names for your team at trivia nights. Eyes widening in horror is not a good thing. Especially if you're Asian. There's only so wide they can get before it starts to hurt.


EbonHawkSerenity said...

Don't forget to apologize to Terry, too!

Tomurai said...

You are most correct.
Terry, I'm very sorry. What I did was most unshway. In fact, it was shwarbage.