...I'm going to replace medical certificates with "well done for staying at home and looking after yourself" certificates.
Surely you people out there can relate. You wake up feeling like crap, can barely get out of bed to empty your bursting bladder and yet you're expected to leave your cosy bed and head for the medical centre.
Once at the medical centre you gain the privilege of waiting in a room full of sick contagious people, which of course, is exactly what your body needs.
After waiting a few hours, you're finally granted an audience with Dr. Desensitised who tells you to get some rest, stay warm and drink lots of fluids. Bugger! It's too bad you'd scheduled a marathon in the rain today in which you were going to run naked in order to raise awareness for a "water is bad for you" campaign.
And by now you've over exerted yourself while in this fragile state, which means you're probably going to have to go back to the doctors again tomorrow because, of course, the doctor only gave you one day off work.
Vote for me at the next Grand Poobah elections!!