Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I lied...

Wow, how time flies. One day you're writing up posts for your blog and then the next minute life has grabbed you by the scrotum and dragged you kicking and screaming away from your computer to a different computer where you can only access work email and youtube where the procrastination gods await.

So, what have I learned during the time I've been away? Not much to be honest. Well, very little that would interest you. Only one thing comes to mind.

I'm currently working on a little project called iSweat. It has nothing to do with Apple products but I find adding an "i" before "Sweat" lends my project an air of legitimacy which it totally doesn't deserve. Anyway, here's the brief:
I have discovered there are 3 types of sweat my body can produce. Perhaps your body can do the same thing. If it does, email me and I will mark it as spam. The 3 sweat types are:
1. Exercise sweat
2. Eating spicy food sweat
3. Vigorous sex sweat
Yes, Exercise sweat and Sex sweat are two very different things. If you don't believe me, try running a kilometre with a friend and ask them to lick you during the journey. You will fail. Now have sex with that friend for an hour and ask them to lick you during this much improved journey. You will succeed. As you can tell, my methods are highly scientific with carefully monitored control scenarios.

Now, my task currently is to try to get my body producing all three of those sweats at the same time. I have proposed this to my wife and currently she's not a big fan. I'm mystified as to why she's opposed to such mighty scientific endeavours given she's a scientist herself.

I will spend the next few days coming up with possible scenarios in which I might produce this trio of sweats. You may help me by leaving suggestions in the comments section.

And yes, I'm back!