Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Poo stains on the toilet

This will only apply to men, however, if you are in fact a woman and can relate to this, you're doing something very, very wrong.

Occassionally, when visiting a toilet to deposit your supply of urine, you will, upon looking down into the bowl find - a poo stain. Some people will instantly look away in disgust and head for an alternative urinal depository. Others will reach for the toilet brush, but not I. No, upon seeing a poo stain I think one thing, and one thing only - a challenge! And what is this challenge?

Can my stream of urine wash away the entire stain before my internal jets cut out?

If you find yourself smiling at this point then we can throw our arms around one another and call each other friend. In this vast universe of uncertainty and conflict, we have found a point of cohesion upon which to relate. There is however, one point that can unhinge our newfound friendship - upon success or failure of your streaming venture, how do you perceive the events which just unfolded?
If successful, was it due to the high potency and overwhelming force of your mighty wee-wee? Or was it simply that the stain lacked the fortitude to just hold on?
If unsuccessful, was it because the stain had received special training from a remora or is it just a case of you being woefully inadequate in all areas of your life?

Decide my friend. And decide well. Jesus is watching.


mikeandmindy said...

Damn straight. Tell those poo stains who the boss is.

Santiago said...

Nice one mate...Helen just put me on to your blog. With sage comments like that, it's bound to be a hit!

EbonHawkSerenity said...

I loved this post. I remember you talking about the exact same thing that one wholesome night of board games at church.

You should also bring this up in the next writing class you take!